By Jackson Lakanta for the London Financial Post

High volume trading in shares of CCR&R were triggered today after the company released news reporting that the company had beat previous quarter revenue projections by 15% for total revenue of 1.45 billion new dollars. CCR&R is the world's preeminent corpse removal operator with operations in 72 countries.

Founded in 2178 to service public reconstitution machines in New York City, CCR&R has seen its growth track with that of the reconstitution heavyweight, AKD Life Extension. CCR&R has grown faster than anyone had considered possible, primarily through creative management of the discarded body problem that plagues most municipalities.

The company's real advance was its patented non-polluting method of recycling human bodies which yielded feed chemicals for the very same reconstitution process. CCR&R CEO Joseph Clarke is famous for saying to a gathering of investors at a 2180 shareholder meeting, "We get them coming and growing."

In related news, Greenwich Transition Parlors announced its first profitable quarter on Monday. As was reported in these pages last month, many analysts expected the advent of home reconstitution machines to negatively affect the business climate for the parlors, but it appears the widespread use of PT for business travel has provided a vital income stream to help fuel their success. Comstock/Combelleck analyst Sarah Marino cautioned, "It's foolish to consider the parlors a buy. We feel that the rapidly diminishing cost of teleportation travel, coupled with the decreasing reliance on PT salons for travel and less savory purposes, spells doom for all but the most extreme of service providers."

When asked what she meant by "extreme", Ms. Marino begged off by stating she had "only just eaten."

When asked to comment on Ms. Marino's downgrade, GTP Spokesperson Alison Chiannison noted, "Comstock also rated [bankrupt hyperplane conglomerate] ABL a strong buy a few years back. They have zero credibility when it comes to predicting the outcomes of companies. The reality is that GTP didn't employ Comstock for its debut on the market, so they're willing to beat up on us."

This isn't the first time that GTP has come under fire. Three weeks ago state regulators opened an investigation into the practices of GTP and a number of other large parlor operators, accusing them of colluding on prices and operating a blacklist to prevent prominent critics from using parlors for worldwide travel. No indictments have been handed down in these actions, but state regulators said to expect high profile arrests soon.